What a crazy past few weeks and months really it has been. I have been busy, exhausted, challenged, encouraged, strengthened, and weakened all at the same time. My time seems scarce these days as we prepare for bringing a child into this world, as work becomes increasingly abundant and as seeking to perform God’s will is becoming ever more important in our lives. There are few things that seem to have gone unchanged though as there are still lost and hurting people all around and though tired and seemingly without time I have found my heart even more burdened for the lost and hurting around me. My desire to pray for people is increasing with every moment that passes and my want to see people made whole is growing; however, it seems that my fear has not subsided. I recently realized that it is when I feel the most fear about praying for someone that it is exactly the time that I need to pray. Certainly prayer should be ongoing and unfailing, but we know that God’s desire is for His children to be whole and when I am feeling fear it is because the enemy is trying to keep that person from experiencing God’s love in a tangible way. When we step out in faith something always happens even though it may not always be visible or tangible. I have seen people’s ailments healed, I have seen people’s hearts softened toward God and others, I have seen people give their lives over to God, but I have also seen people reject God, turn away in fear of giving up all that they have built in order to follow God, I have heard people say that they know they are sinning against God but are not ready to quit because it is too much fun. I guess what I am saying is that God’s love is powerful and life changing, but it is also challenging. He desires to see change in us as we put off our old self and follow His commands for us and He is the only source of life. All other activities and motives for life bring about death.
Change can be difficult, but ultimately the change that God is invoking and encouraging will bring life. This week my wife and I took a hard look at our lives and how they have changed. We have been extremely blessed, but we have also faced our fair share of trials. What we can say definitively is that God has taken care of us even when we had no clue where He was leading us. We still question sometimes, but ultimately we know that God is leading us exactly where He wants us and through what He wants for us to experience. The greatest growth that we have seen in our lives has resulted from the greatest hardships and now are a firm foundation for our faith. God did not leave us, He did not forsake us. Instead He showed us just how powerful and loving He is. Were their times of doubt? Sure, but God is greater than all and has always guided us exactly where we needed to be, all we had to do was listen and to follow. I am convinced that I have missed out on many opportunities because I did not listen to or follow His leading, but I also know that He has greatly blessed my life and that the more I learn to trust in Him and to follow Him the more He will use me. I do not believe life will always be comfortable as I follow Him, but I do know that my desire is to do His will whatever that may be and that as I follow Him whole heartedly He will bring fullness to my life.